Month: November 2010

Postcards to Azrael

a brief note to Archangel Azrael

Azrael –

Throat gave me that sensation of closing off and I feared you and I might have an unscheduled visit. Doctor at the emergency room assures me it only feels like my throat is closing off, and while the hypersalivation is annoying and gross I’m not actually drooling. The general consensus, once they realized I’m a fat person minus the stereotyped fat diseases was, “Huh, that’s weird, but not life threatening.”

You seem like a good guy ((guy being gender neutral in this parlance)), and I just want you to know that I’m not afraid of you at all. I do maintain an ability to compartmentalize more than most, so should my death be of sucktastic circumstances I promise not to take it out on you. It seems, given these peculiar visits upon my body, that you are no more eager to take me than I am to go. I understand that – I have a feeling that upon my death, my life will get even more interesting, and my life as it is is about all I can handle right now.

In fact, it seems like these not-quite killing me incidents are a reminder that even you want me here for as long as possible. OK, I’ll work with that.

In Love,


Yes, I really did go to the ER last night. I’m fine now, but everyone from the nurse to the attending physician to the head doctor kind of poked at me, ruled out the usual fat person health assumptions, and went… “That’s weird.” The attending was also extremely impressed that I used the words “hypersalivation” and “expectorate” in a correct yet casual context.

“Are you in the medical profession?”

“No, I just did really well on the verbal portion of my SATs.”

My personal theory is that in addition to and separate from my corn syrup allergy, my body has a lower than normal starch tolerance. I can eat pasta, potatoes, whatever – but I can’t have too much of either in the same day. In fact, every time this happens it’s preceded by some sort of starch binge, although this “binge” was much smaller than the last ones.

November summary

  • Did not participate in Nanowrimo. Which is fine, since I didn’t intend to.
  • Did finish the book proposal on Divorcing a Real Witch – now deciding whether to keep looking for agents or just trot it to publishers. I’m a bit put off by the expectation that I be teaching workshops in this sort of thing already – it’s a very chicken/egg quandary to create for a person, and I rather resent it.
  • Bought a Yaris. Not in our grand plan, but had to buy some kind of car since Mike works in the boonies portion of Bloomington where buses go… at random.
  • Went to the UnderPants Show at Bryant Lake Bowl. For those less informed, this is a monthly Burlesque show at Bryant Lake Bowl.
  • Turned 35. Did very little about it, although I now have an anti-wrinkle night cream AND day cream as a tacit acknowledgment. Left my phone off for the weekend, got a massage, otherwise… eh.
  • Went to Mike’s parents for Thanksgiving. The day prior I ate the lamest and largest pork cutlet EVER.
  • Brenda and I are attempting to institute one day a week where we hang out and craft. Our first attempt was last week, where we watched S2 True Blood, she restrung a broken necklace and I decoupaged a few boxes for future shipping after dipping some incense.
  • I have a lot more incense paper made. I’m not sure when/how I’m going to get it on Etsy – I’m ignoring timing and just doing what suits me for now.
  • Spent a lot of time working on Fat Chic. The catalog project is finished, and all the posts for it should roll and be listed by December 31st.
  • Trying another switch to yerba matte from coffee.
  • I’m also dealing with a large chunk of depression. Right now I’m handling it with St. Johnswort and Bach flower therapies. I’ll discuss this more in a post I have sitting in draft about a very recent change in some of my magickal practices. I don’t think I’m ready for antidepressants, but since I don’t write from a place of “inspiration” I’m not terribly worried about their impact on my creativity. I have Iris Bach flower essence, and a long-running experience of terrible first drafts to assure me that my creativity is really persistence.

Here’s one where it’s reasonable to blame Obama

The above video is real. This is an example of exactly how spiteful and out of hand TSA and Homeland Security has become. Even the House of Representatives has challenged these procedures already – and it’s out of their hands in the short term, because Homeland Security falls under the auspices of the Executive Branch. You can see further discussion on Metafilter.

That’s right, this TSA mess is under the direct purview of none other than the President of the United States.

Here is what I wrote my representatives via
I am furious at the infringement of civil rights used in the application of backscatter scanners and TSA pat-downs. There is no evidence that this in any way makes Americans safer, and it is in no way a relevant response to recent or more distant attacks on US soil. This is a violation of 9th Amendment rights in a profound way – among those unenumerated rights is the right NOT to suffer intimidation by our own government.

I find President Obama’s interaction and connection to the backscatter companies suspect, and I do believe that Mr. Obama needs to use his presidential authority to put a stop to the continued abuses of Homeland Security IMMEDIATELY. This “safety inspection” benefits no one. Further, I think all “security” procedures implemented since 2001 merit review – with an eye toward shutting down the TSA and Homeland Security completely. The CIA and FBI served adequately, and it has long since been demonstrated that 9/11 occurred as a direct result of Executive branch neglect. To continue with these agencies is to simply allow a legacy of incompetence and corruption to continue.

For those unfamiliar with the 9th Amendment:
“The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.”

Wacky Idea #1: indoor campgrounds as housing solution

fill 'em in

One of the side effects of current market conditions is the above: great, big, empty spaces where stores pushing overconsumption used to live. That’s a whole lot of unused real estate that’s too expensive to tear down – and unlikely to see a new tenant anytime soon.

Since these stores are already hooked up…why not convert them into indoor campgrounds, especially for those booted from homes in the foreclosure mess? Yes, I know that a)it’s a modern Hooverville situation and b)there’s no way around the whole “refugee camp” angle. I would try it anyway. Why?

  1. In places with harsh winter conditions, it will reduce unnecessary deaths and weather-related injuries by a lot. Making people homeless and then having them end up on disability because of unavoidable frostbite just allows for a much bigger problem.
  2. It fixes the “no address” problem that sometimes confronts job seekers and people seeking benefits they are actually due. By giving these people indoor space to a place already marked for regular freight deliveries, they can set up until they’re ready to leave.
  3. The health department already has policies in place for buildings like this. It can also help with managing major public health and education issues, by establishing a landing pad for people falling through the cracks.

I do not envision this as a free-rent situation. People who use the space would have to chip in for water and electric expenses, in the form of a weekly lot rental. Fundraising for those in the most dire need would be a factor, and there would need to be some sort of indoor neighborhood watch/security agreement as well as on-site healthcare workers who also deserve pay. Also, tape. I can see needing to mark off boundaries with tape and rulers a lot.

There is also the issue of retail neighbors who may or may not be willing to handle the population of the indoor campground.

I would not want to see this as a permanent solution, just as a place to go to get back on your feet/get stable where at least you know you’ll have a roof over your head.

A relationship-theory rant

Vintage-Man-Woman-Boxing-Photo-GraphicsFairy-645x1024I suspect this rant is prompted by reading the book Sex and the City, the collection of essays by Candace Bushnell that prompted the show. It’s like reading a horror novel, and it’s stirring up feminist rage including some rage directed at other women for promoting and encouraging limiting stereotypes and stupid decisions.

Warning: swearing and controversial comments below the cut.

Poking my head above a sea of papers

I’ve spent most of the last two weeks working intensively on Fat Chic. I have a specific – and growing – process, and right now my plan is to work far, far ahead so that when I do hit burnout it’s not a big deal at all. I’ve contemplated taking today off, but since I already have an artist’s date scheduled tonight (though I may violate the rules and take a friend) and next week marks the beginning of the holidays I thought perhaps continuing my work-through with breaks for yoga and Wii might be useful. Getting in more Y time would also be good.

I actually want to take a break and do writing, yoga and perfume things – but I’m putting it off for a broad variety of reasons. I am talking to Brenda about having a weekly craft night where she makes jewelry and I decoupage. Since I’m decoupaging product boxes to send in lieu of shipping boxes, I’m trading the money spent on standard shipping boxes for my time, and it’s fussy and probably a much higher time cost – but I think for my business size, that’s fine. Good, even. I know how to pack a box properly, after all. I also use a lot of magazines and catalogs as I blog, and when I’m done I want to use them for a collage project/vision board or three (that I will likely also blog) and then convert the remaining pages to envelopes or more paper as I see fit. It’s a long, busy process and I may spend a chunk of my time this summer on crafts and product photography. I’ll see how I feel when I get there.

I’m also trying to work in more reading – I have a book review I need to write (I’ve read it, not bad) and my home library read-off has been a strange little dream of mine. Right now? I’m taking on the Time Life Mysteries of the Unknown Series I bought at a used book store back in college. I’m not sure how many books were in the actual series, I just know I don’t have them all – but I do have more than ten.