- Let’s segregate sexual violence from the sexuality spectrum
- How perfectly nice people contribute to rape and molestation (Triggerpalooza, kids.)
- Providing you with an entire trigger warning post (the whole Kenny Klein fiasco)
- An Addendum to Perfectly Nice People
- Please flag and report those IPs!
- Gay Does not Make it Okay
- Yes, men are victims of sexual assault, too (does this really need the trigger warning?)
- A Proposal for a Sexual Ethos: Keep Your Hands to Yourself
- Sex is absolutely not necessary for initiation. Especially if you’re a minor.
- Kenny Klein fallout: the problems that aren’t
- An Addendum: No one I know regrets the sex
- Words: the first weapons in an assault
- The Myth of the Healing Confrontation
- So what do we do with any predators we find?
- the Sacred Mystery of Denial #paganvalues
- Controlling behavior: exhibit 1
A common statement from police officers is that a woman regrets having consensual sex with someone and so the next day goes and reports it as a rape.
This, to me, is bewilderingly absurd and I have trouble believing that the behavior is THAT common. I can see 1% of 1% of people maybe getting caught cheating and pretending it was a rape – but to take it as far as marching down to the station and on to the hospital with a rape kit? This is preposterous. Since cheaters tend to be serial cheaters I would assume this would work at most once.
People who have consensual sex that regret it generally don’t call it rape just because it was bad sex. Most cheaters are habitual cheaters and should have the sense not to keep a public record of it.
Does it not happen at all? No. But it doesn’t happen so often that it should be a routine theory of a police officer investigating a sexual assault.
I have, however, encountered several situations where a woman was looking forward to enjoying consensual sex, had something happen during the date that prompted her to withdraw her consent and then getting raped.
This occurrence isn’t a grey area – it is one of the core problems of date rape. Why? Because it’s treated like a grey area. A woman changing her mind should not be treated as someone who just regretted sex. She said no – what she regretted was meeting the person who raped her.