Dealing with female social violence in daily life

Edit: As was rightly pointed out to me by a typically cooler-headed friend, this woman may have just been trying to make a joke and had it come out really awkward. I’m still pissed – but she’s got a good point.

So my next door neighbor just attacked me, baby boomer female social violence style. I was out harvesting oregano. Her roommate/partner/don’t know came out, introduced herself, asked my name. “Oh, like Princess Diana.”

I fucking hate being compared to a princess. Princesses get traded for real estate. I do NOT get traded for real estate, under any circumstances.

“Or like Wonder Woman.” I smile and go back to work. Besides, most people get confused by the goddess reference.

The driver – the one I’ve seen more – pulls up beside me. ((Last week she gave me a lecture about how the rabbits in the yard “need to live to,” as though I hadn’t said at all, “I’m just trying to plan my garden so I can co-exist with the bunnies.” It was patronizing and bordered on insulting, but I dismissed it as self-righteous pseudo-spirituality I’ve seen often enough to recognize as harmless.)) “You better be careful because Princess Diana’s real name was Princess Diarrhea.”

Be careful of what, exactly? Is she threatening to call me Princess Diarrhea? What behavior have I exhibited to cause her to use such mean-spirited bullying on me out of nowhere? Getting rid of furniture in my house that didn’t belong to her?

This is, point for point, female social violence. By insulting me she was trying to establish herself as dominant. Because now I have reason to be afraid of her – and if I’m afraid of her, the typical reasoning follows that I’ll be more likely to cater to whatever demands she might make.

She has no idea the kind of crap people like her – or more skilled than her – have put me through.

All I said at the time was, “That’s unfortunate.” As my sweetie has rightly pointed out, confrontation might lead to escalation – especially if she’s narcissistic enough to make it all about winning and not about living peaceably.

It was a shit thing to say. There is no universe in which it would be considered harmless teasing. And now I know she’s absolutely NOT to be trusted.