Fears about Divorcing a Real Witch

Divorce versus Democracy
Divorce versus Democracy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Support for this book has been phenomenal. Even if I fall flat on my face in the market I’ll do it knowing that Divorcing a Real Witch went out into the world with friends behind it, wishing both the book and me the best. Some of the support has come in hilarious ways and some has merited food for thought.

When I mention that I have some fear about this book coming out, most men jump to the conclusion that I fear my ex-husband. One pub-buddy asked if I was worried and then actually used the words “I know a guy.” Few words in American English can be both sweet and terrifying. I felt loved, if concerned about that guy.

Women worry more about the knee-jerk reactions divorce gets. A woman that writes about divorce is a projection target and I have spent a good portion of my life as a human projection screen. Any psychological bugaboo or shame gets cast right on me. Part of this is coming from an NPD patterned family. Part of it is just me – I’m a large woman with a voice that carries. I’m confrontational even when I’m not confronting. A fellow writer suggested that instead of open book signings I stick to teaching private workshops. It’s not a terrible idea – the contacts I’ve gotten from men about this book already have, for the most part, bordered on the threatening. Only one has left me assured that he just needed to feel supported rather than feel like his privilege was restored.

While I am a little bit worried about that second part – the crazy guy with a vendetta projecting his divorce issues on me – I’m explicitly not worried about my ex-husband. He’s just damaged and manipulative – and way too aware of consequences to do anything that drastic. With any luck he’s found a woman more suited to his wounds. The second worries me a little bit, but I think closed workshops and hopefully more people reading the book will help me out there.

My fear concerning the book is existential. Even if it fails, this will change my life. While I have a public life right now – I spend a good chunk of time on social media – this will give me a public profile. As I’ve stated before, the way the Pagan community sees authors is a bit weird and often more in line with publishing between 1955-1980 than with what actually happens since 2003.  I’ve practiced solitary since 2005 and been much, much happier for it. Even so, I do work with the community in non-direct ways but often just enough that I’m recognized by those who will actually do the work but float under the radar of those who talk a lot and demand even more but do little.

Then there’s just the good old-fashioned fear of failure. What if it sells less than 1000 copies so I never see a dime? That’s life, sure, but that would be a total bummer.

So there’s my fear – the esoteric, rather than the exoteric.