Making it Personal

La Conscience (d'après Victor Hugo)
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I have this almost childish need to hide behind my writing. I use big words, skimp on the imagery and pretty soon there’s this wall of words in front of my reader, just because I feel like I am the elephant in the room – and I’m clearly all self-conscious about it. I’ve had it pointed out to me before. I didn’t like it, and it stayed with me – because it’s a real problem.

Such is the case with my Wicca and Handparting (Divorce) book that I’ve  been working on since 2002. I’m facing the double whammy: I’ve never before completed a work of its intended length (around 360 pages) and the subject…well, the subject is very unpleasant, which is one of the reasons other authors have stayed away. No one wants to deal with divorce. No one wants to talk about glaring relationship mistakes best moved on from, or reveal what protection they had to create for themselves.

I sure as hell don’t.

However, every time I do expose myself to my community I find several other someones foundering as I did, and while I can’t have their answers for them, I can hopefully give them something that would work as a flotation device or at the very least as a doorstop while they’re hauling their stuff out of their old residence.

Ultimately, as much as I really don’t want to, I have to make what I’m writing personal. I don’t have the option of hiding behind some priestessy title or carrying on about the laws of my tradition – I have no tradition (and I’m happy that way, as I find my conscience just fine without making it wear a corset.) Just like a few thousand others, I just have had to figure it out for myself, and the process was very, very painful.

I have to tell what I went through. Otherwise, there are thousands of books already written and I have nothing to add.

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