For a quick recap as it’s been several years: my philosophy of divination is based on free will. There are situations around us that we can’t control – say, asteroids hurtling towards the earth, mountains crumbling, your boyfriend revealing his love of wearing a teddy bear suit at awkward moments. Divination is intended to help us recognize those points in order to identify the choices that we have within those constructs. Free will exists. At the same time, a whole lot of stuff we have no control over also exists. So when I read cards for someone, it’s not about “this is going to happen.” It’s “here are your choices, based on your own patterns of behavior that show up in the cards.”
Reading for yourself is probably the biggest challenge/problem presented in divination. There are two reasons for this: first is the simple human reason that you will desperately look for what you want to see. Even the most negative of us want things to work out of the best for themselves.
The second is about privacy: you make yourself pretty damn vulnerable when you go to someone for a reading. In my case I almost always go to strangers, because I struggle with having my insecurities laid out in a pictorial key in front of someone I know. I realize there’s a discrepancy: my friends come to me for readings all the time. This is partially because I don’t charge much more than the price of a cup of coffee, and also because they know that when it comes to readings, I maintain discretion. (Elsewhere in life…) I think that part of my issue coming to my friends that also read is that as perceptions build up between us as a relationship goes on, I feel like it becomes more difficult for me to be fully understood by the other. I’m far from mercurial – I rarely have mood swings, so when my mood changes there’s a clearly visible external reason for it – but I embrace inner change, even pursue it, and I still need to master short ways to communicate when that happens, since it happens a lot. Sometimes when people who know me read for me, they read based on what they knew or processed about my daily reality last. This can and does change. A few have not liked the changes I’ve made within, and so read based on how they would prefer me to be. Also a problem, and since no one controls how others perceive you, not really something I can easily address. (I can, just not easily.)
Which is where my favorite self-divination tools come in. Thanks to my review gig with Facing North, I get to read lots of cool stuff – and every once in a great while, I get to try out tarot decks, divination tools, et. al. Through this gig I discovered the work of artist Orna Ben-Shoshan. A few years ago she developed a divination wheel. On the surface it sounds ludicrous – a wheel that you spin to your answer, and then you look up the meaning in the book. Like a lot of long-time readers, I’m fundamentally offended by a system that makes you look it up in a little flip book. Then I discovered Ben-Shoshan’s Wheel of Wisdom. It’s a good thing I like ludicrous.
It’s based in Kabbalah. I’ve studied Kabbalah several times, and the only stuff that really sticks is the stuff I use in the Golden Dawn style ceremonial magic I help myself to so often.
This is now my primary go-to tool for divination. I always get a clear answer. I always understand how the answer fits in my situation. It’s always something I can see where and how to take action or not take action – even when I don’t like the answer. It’s freaking awesome. It’s only sold independently – no Amazon for you! – so if you get one, prepare to shell out a bit since it has to be shipped from Israel.
This comes up because I just received her Alphabet for Lovers pack to review. While marketed on the romance angle, it’s pretty much all relationships. I’ve used it to analyze my relationship with Mike, since that’s the relationship I have that I understand the best. It came up very, very accurate. Enough that I was a bit embarrassed here and there. Now I’m using it for other situations, friendships, etc. Since my biggest hang ups in my relationship with others is not so much what they do as why they do what they do, it’s rapidly becoming my favorite toy because it thoroughly shushes what the vast majority of my inner noise is about by giving me the insight I need. Basically it covers everything I’ve never really been able to master in the court cards of the tarot.
So these – these are my favorite “read for yourself” tools ever.