- Deconstructing masculinity–and probably scaring the crap out of a few so identified
- My problem with claims of “emasculation”: mini rant
Yes, another mini-rant. I do not think of feminism as a war on men, but there are men who think it is a war on themselves because let’s face it, if you’ve got the upper hand in society you generally don’t want to give up your privilege. Which led to a brief interlude in an otherwise fun evening last night:
I had to listen to a kid complain about being regularly “emasculated” last night. I told him that was a load of crap where he was expecting special treatment he did not earn, and left it at that. I needed some time to detail my thoughts on the matter.
Here’s what I came up with:
I think, short of a physical act involving body parts and blood everywhere, emasculation is a myth. You can certainly humiliate a man. Women get humiliated and mistreated, but can’t suddenly claim that they have been “efemsculated.” Which means only men have the privilege of feeling “like a man”, only men can be “emasculated” and this suggests to me that most complaints about being “emasculated” are “WAH! Mommy, that person took away my male privilege by not giving me what I want!”
First of all, nobody on earth owes you privileges of any kind. I am not owed. You are not owed. Our mothers and fathers are not owed a goddamn thing. The point of privilege is that you’re damn lucky if you get it, because nobody in the world has a genuine “right” to it.
Second, by whining about emasculation, or opting for hypersensitivity, not only are you a)demanding a person be a mind-reader, your are b)attempting to make other people responsible for your insecurities.
Your insecurities are your problem to resolve. Note I did not say “solve.” Resolve sometimes just means accepting something you don’t like in yourself, and by accepting it moving forward with a new perspective.
Your insecurities are not somebody else’s problem to live with. The only person who must live with you from beginning of life to end is you. Expecting someone else to clear the muck in your head is not just selfish – we’ve all get enough muck in our own heads – it’s avoiding responsibility for yourself.
No man is owed dignity or genital flattery just because he is a man. I’ve noticed that, for the most part, men of quality and character – and yes, I’ve met several – have never once felt a need to complain about feeling “emasculated.” They speak up when someone is disrespectful, but they are not only secure enough in their manhood, they’re respectful enough of others who do not enjoy their social privileges not to demand acknowledgment and indulgence for excess, unearned privilege.