My sex ethos under Eros

File:Legros - Cupidon et Psyche.jpgAwhile ago it became known to me that my patron is Eros, the Greek god of progenitive love. No, he wasn’t just a baby running around shooting arrows in people. In most depictions, he’s quite mature and is by no means in diapers. Since I’m leery of tradition, having veered once too often into tell-you-what-to-think situations, my experience with Eros has been purely direct, an evolution of meditation and openness to personal contact. I’m no novice to Wicca, having practiced it for fourteen years, but my long-term relationship to Eros is in its infancy, and with that so is my developing morality as it is attached to my patron.

Unfortunately, the only Eros worship I’ve found online is either couched in Hellenic Reconstructionism – not something that seems to fit me – or is the beginning of a porn. Porn is a discussion for a later time, in the ethics sector, but even though I’m discussing it later, we’ll bookmark that for now.

As a priestess dedicated to Eros, it’s often assumed that I would be all about the sex and free love. That’s actually pretty far from what it seems to be working thus far: Eros chose me as his priestess in part because I am very different in the way my sexuality is expressed, and in that it is something that I spent much of my early teen years making sure I absolutely understood myself and my own boundaries before I even considered becoming sexually active.

While each one of these is a chapter/essay unto itself and a simple motto like “an ye harm none” doesn’t even start to cover it, I can try to summarize with this statement:

Where there is love, there is no sin.

And yes, there is the foundation in the Charge of the Goddess: “all acts of love and pleasure are her rituals.”

Each of these will require further discussion:

  • Pre-marital sex is just fine.
  • All sexual relationships should operate on a principle of informed consent.
  • Multiple stimultaneous partners is OK. Promiscuity is NOT OK. I do not practice polyamory, but if done sincerely and with genuine love for all partners, it’s acceptable.
  • Homosexuality is part of nature and is absolutely OK.
  • It is a moral obligation to respect a person’s refusal of a sexual advance. Speak once and shut up.
  • Long-term relationships are absolutely preferable to short-term interludes, but may not suit every temperament.
  • Sex is a prayer, and putting thought into sex and pleasure before engaging in it preserves its sanctity.
  • All sex partners should be chosen with deliberation and care, because the sexual exchange is also a sharing of karma and personality.
  • Children are a blessing but not a requirement.
  • Oh yes, I’m VERY pro-choice. And by that, I do mean choice.

Note: this is part of a round-the-web blog series on Pagan Values for Pagan Values month, the inception of which is at Chrysalis blog. It’s being encouraged to add to Metapagan, but frankly, it’s kind of obscure as to how to – there’s a del.icio.us feed, but it’s not clear where it is and the entire “pipes’ yahoo thing seems like a well-intentioned feed aggregate that isn’t really working for me.