Second sight involves seeing things other people can’t see. Generally you perceive the most details with your mind’s eye. Hallucination involves … seeing things others can’t see.
Last week I caught a wicked virus – thus the cough medicine recipes – and for the last few years viruses have hit me a lot harder and taken a lot longer to recover than they do the normal person they launch themselves upon. It is a testament to my finally finding a doctor that cares that I am having a normal cold, running it’s normal course, and responding to my admittedly altered approach to treatment now that I know where my underlying disorder triggers lay. Because this is my universe, which seems to be the result of an unholy threesome between a maze-based video game, one of Moliere’s farces, and a rather surreal soap opera, this suddenly managed condition couldn’t just sit. There had to be a new challenge.
The new challenge: the virus I caught combined with my day-to-day medications, and I had full-on hallucinations. I knew they were full on hallucinations because they were way, way easier to distinguish from what I see with my naked eye thanks to the Second Sight. I drove home in a fog that no one else could see – even while I saw the very real sun shining. I saw the same fog across my door. When I put my hand in it (who knows how many Veil-folk have had me cop a feel on them this way) and there was no vibration, no life, no nothing. How comforting. I was merely experiencing an event based in neurological disorder – that I can handle. I’m pretty sure I also saw at least two pterodactyls. In my experience. dinosaurs have left no ghosts – so I was pretty sure that was both a hallucination and probably a latent desire to rewatch Torchwood.
The day after, where I was appropriately high as a kite on cold medication, I had a friend ask me about mediumship et. al. To be clear, I’m not a medium. I don’t have the training, I have yet to meet a guide or partner advanced enough for me to trust with that degree of vulnerability, and while I understand the mechanics and elemental laws of possession and channeling, I’m not eager to try it out, ever. A lot of people assume I’m “into” that because I’m up front about the “there are dead people with no manners disrupting our conversation” moments. That is not mediumship. Also, a lot of people tend to just assume I’m interested in all paranormal stuff because of this one weird thing about myself I can’t help.
Just because those wires in my brain are on, doesn’t mean I have to use them. I have some ovaries I’ve also taken an opt-out clause on.
What I do have is what I see as a physical condition that can by necessity cause a bit of anti-social behavior. I’ve learned how to manage it over the years, and I try to pick friends who can at least accept that what I’m experiencing is real to me, even if will eventually find out that a chigger from a raspberry patch in childhood got especially ambitious. It isn’t important that the people I care about participate in my beliefs: they can’t experience what I’m experiencing. I can’t experience what they’re experiencing. I accept that, and get frustrated with the many people that don’t. What I can do, and did do, is describe a few things from my experience and make a few distinctions between my day-to-day experience and my hallucinatory experience of the day before.
This is the rough reference I composed:
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- Schizophrenia: Coping with Delusions and Hallucinations (psychologytoday.com)
- Re: Heaven is real, says neurosurgeon who claims to have visited the afterlife (bitcointalk.org)
- The inner noise sublimation: Can hearing voices be normal? (wellcometrust.wordpress.com)
- Vision versus Hallucination – Founders and Pivots (lifetextures.wordpress.com)