Sickness and Creativity

Hmong Farmer's Market March 2013

Creative energy is a funny thing. It is universally available but not universally constant. I’ve read accounts of mothers, brilliant productive aritsts in their own right, who can not write during pregnancy. Why? Because their body is using that creative energy to make a new life. Once the child is born the creativity returns. I will never have the experience of baby creation – but based on how I feel when I get sick, I think it’s true.

Lately this blog has flowed more easily than it ever has. Part of it is maintaining my artist’s way work. Part of it is all the work I’ve done in therapy, in ritual, in every day life to overcome the voices and cultures that kept me from my best self. I’m even getting more comfortable writing and saying things I know some of my own  just won’t like.

So when I sat down at the keyboard last week and not even the slightest dribble would come… I knew that cold that had chased me for weeks finally caught me. Even now, my face hurts – an impacted sinus kept me from taking my nasal inhalant medication. My coordination all but disappeared. I used what energy I had left to tag and sort my flickr account and then I lay on the couch watching Reno 911 and sleeping while my partner tappa-tapped on his laptop beside me.

Sometimes – rarely – I can keep working through illness. If I maintain a good schedule of artist’s dates then I can usually muster some basic work. But since moving, I haven’t as much. So yesterday I made sure I got a good one. Over the summer I’ll be doing all I can to refill that well – because it makes the dryer times much easier to work.