Supplies: Strobe Light Clarity

Oh, the times of black-white strobe light clarity… I’ve had too many. So many I might be shades of grey blind. One stands out, though: my junior year of college. My roommate, who seemed just fine with my whole Wiccan lifestyle, suddenly had a problem with it after I started hanging out with a guy with a mohawk and completely lost her shit when I started dating a black man. Rather than talk to me about any behaviors she had a problem with, she would plant her ass in front of my bed and watch Country Music Television on my TV, ignoring me when I asked her to please watch something else when I was in the room. She bitched at length to the floormates that we all ate meals with – and they began sniping at me, dropping apropos of nothing comments like, “You need to learn to compromise,” when one girl demanded I give her my chair and other ridiculous, female-social-violence stunts, up to and including going through the mail on my desk when I was out and then asking my boyfriend about the various bits of mail I got.

One day I “found” a card my floormates sent to my roommate (because it was basically glued to the door) “comforting” her with comments like “Ditch the witch and move in with me!”

When I asked my roommate, if she was so unhappy, why she didn’t move out, she didn’t answer – as if she hadn’t heard the question I’d asked while looking straight at her, as I offered to review the ground rules with her. She had been concocting more and more “ground rules” and even attempted to propose a curfew when she decided she had a problem with me spending the night at my boyfriend’s.

Finally, as I Vax chatted with someone they’d been badmouthing me to (who was amused by it) I realized… these bitches were trying to control me. It wasn’t even about me disrupting their lives – any disruption that happened was very, very minimal because I was at work, with my boyfriend or at the computer lab. But they had routinely disrupted mine, especially my roommate – refusing to learn how to use call waiting when she knew I was going out with a gay man for the evening, sending someone to knock on the door after I’d told them I needed to not be interrupted (and was told I “looked possessed” when I asked them angrily what the disruption was about) and even trying to tell me to drop a friendship I had formed before I met them because one of the floor girls was interested in him.

It ended with me lining up and yelling at them for their shitty behavior.

They then used the first excuse to report me for an alcohol violation that my roommate obviously staged. (I was over 21, and  my roommate, knowing that I still had liquor in the room and would be removing it later, made a big point of walking in and gasping when she saw the bottle … that she’d known about for eight weeks.)

Oddly, the report never got to the point of a disciplinary hearing… and the girl’s soccer team members on the floor told me that they were cheering for me. They’d watched how the girls’ behavior played out… and absolutely no one took their side. My “punishment” was assignment to a single room; I did not have to pay the additional single fee.

By the end of the next semester the girls did the same thing to another girl on the floor that they’d done to me. The pattern was the same: they were fine with her and all her foibles until she got a boyfriend.

I don’t think those girls made any other friends the entire time I was there. But boy, they sure stared at me a lot when they saw me.

 

Filed under: Exercises, Struggles