Supplies: Very Important People – how to identify

Euro 2008 vip entrance salzburg

– from Wikimedia commons

Very Important People talk casually about their personal branding. They don’t have personal style, they have personal brand. The pockets of said “brand” are stuffed with the names of celebrities and pseudo celebrities that VIPs have a “very important relationship” with. Because the pockets are so stuffed, this person just litters names all over any conversation with you – no matter that it usually has neither meaning nor context to you.  The Very Important Person must always exit the conversation for some business that just must take place right now. It is rare and very difficult to actually finish a conversation with this person, but s/he usually expects you to wait, patiently until s/he has finished said business. Notably this person has no concern at all that you might have other things going on. The VIP does not ask about you. S/he has absolutely no interest in your “petty little life” unless you are involved in something that might raise his/her profile.

This person also seems to have a strange definition of friendship. “Friends” are people with connections that might do something for him and they are visibly ranked by the strength of those connections rather than by any qualities of character we mere mortals may appreciate, such as kindness, loyalty, responsibility.

If you happen to have any information that might be worth sharing with the VIP, s/he gets very upset about it and even turns it into a personal attack. Anything that does not come through his vetted highways is automatically suspicious. All things outside of what he approves of is potential persecution. Under no circumstances can he acknowledge that you might be his/her equal and you may know quite well what you’re talking about.

No, you are to sit and wait quietly for the occasions that he feels like taking notice of you. If for some reason the spotlight is yours – even the conversational spotlight – s/he will do his damnedest to turn it back on him/herself even if that involves ruining a public performance or almost burning bridges.

Oh… I have someone very specific in mind for this one. Specific and delusional.

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