The Limbaugh Limbo: a few fine points on how low we all could go

One of my exes had a crush on this guy. Another was just a BIG fan.

Limbaugh’s a shock jock, the same as Howard Stern, and in terms of actual character and intelligence, Stern is pulling ahead in my still-low estimation merely because he has demonstrated the capacity to learn, as did ManCow after he was water boarded. Last week’s 1984esque nightmare from hell birth control panel has given me enough nightmares, and frankly, that Limbaugh went to his usual flat-out hatred of women trope was somewhat of a relief to me. If he was whining on the air about women or a particular woman being “sluts” despite being pretty slutty himself, then there was something for Republicans to be bitter about, and for even Republican women, that had to be good. I’m terrified enough with this sudden aggressive move towards pushing women back into “places” that just don’t work financially or practically, and Rush’s behavior strongly suggests that he has NO CLUE what’s involved in female health care. (Spending $80/month on contraception is actually cheapish for an uninsured 30 day pack of birth control pills, for instance.) I’ve seen implications that he’s closeted, and is thus living up to the stereotype of REALLY hating women, but they are rumors, and best left between him and his addiction counselor.

So it’s established that I think Limbaugh’s an asshole, and I thank the gods that I didn’t wind up getting arranged into/married to the son of the other hardcore Republicans I knew growing up. And there’s no way they WEREN’T using birth control, even then.

But, with all this fear going on, there are some distinctions. While the world went mad long before I was born, the latest madness seems to be missing a few points from conservatives and liberals alike. The liberals are still in their usual state of “government should take care of its people,” and conservatives are still of the opinion that “people should take care of their government,” with the frightening addendum “On MY TERMS ONLY.” The population of people bored into a stupor on all this no longer seem to be aware that THEY ARE THE GOVERNMENT, sort of. We the People are the government, filtered. The filter is our elected representatives. Just like on furnaces, filters get dirty and need to be changed. But I digress.

In all the complaints and criticisms bandied around, here’s a few things that seem to be missing:1. What started this: a group of Republicans wanting to poke around in every uterus in America, thus making women public property/slaves. It’s appalling enough that no women were on the panel – if they were worried about objectivity, there’s bound to be a Congresswoman past menopause or who has had a hysterectomy. I also suggested a campaign of calling the mothers of these Congressmen, and telling them what a poor job they did raising their sons. Clearly none said “Don’t rape people,” to them before going out on dates, and it obviously needed to be said since their big idea was institutionalized penetration without consent – and this AFTER the definition of rape was expanded beyond that. I realize, given their ages, that some mothers would not be available to then relay the bawling out to their progeny: now I think that the best way to short-circuit that spectacularly hare-brained train of thought is: “Now, imagine that being done to your butt.” I realize I’m playing the homophobia card, but who says it can’t be used for the greater good?

2. The very idea of poking around in mass uteri is the exact OPPOSITE of what conservatism in US-America is supposed to do. A less involved government has no interest in your crotch or how you use it; that would also be the foundations of why Republicans would, according to the rules of their own party, refuse to subsidize birth control. But ALL of the evangelical crap that has infected the party calls to greater and greater involvement, ultimately in a religious state – the kind that the founders of the Constitution were pretty explicit in wanting to avoid, after all that crap they went through with Henry and George and the establishment of the Anglican church. Of course, they sent their criminals to Australia and their own obnoxious religious bigots to the US and Canada – and here, and now, is that legacy.

3. The thing about Limbaugh – he did exercise his free speech, and he still has it. The government/FCC has done nothing to interfere with that whole slut-shaming fiasco. While Sarah Palin may go on about how “liberals are being bullies even if I call you all whores all the time” (typical bully making herself out to be  the victim) it’s worth pointing out what she’s missing:

A)It was the advertisers who demanded the apology. Those advertisers included conservative companies who KNEW what secondary message they were buying, and it got pulled long before any groups chose to put pressure on them. While I daily deal with public relations personnel who have no understanding of how target marketing actually works, I’m pretty sure this one would be hard to miss.

B)These companies knew they were advertising to conservatives, and this suggests that some conservatives, I don’t know, have daughters, or are women , or are people who actually care about the uterus-bearing people in their lives. The liberals were going to be mad, and we all expect that. It’s that conservatives brought about this move, and demanded the apology, that should be the wake-up call.

Her pointing out Bill Maher’s liberal asshole moments (no argument, he has them) is pure high school manipulative girl strategy. “Why isn’t HE being punished?” Mostly because he keeps it to celebrities. Plus in this situation your being pretty and popular is NOT going to help, Palin. He had nothing to do with Obama respecting the rights of a private citizen, and to my knowledge, Maher has said some stupid shit but hasn’t walked up the line of slander law like Limbaugh has.

Also, is it concerning to anyone else that a woman who ran for Vice President of the United States of America is unable to distinguish between government intervention and the politics of a private corporation?

3. Limbaugh’s borderline legality asshattery came not in calling Sandra Fluke a slut, but in calling a private citizen a slut on national airwaves. It would be a different matter if he’d said this about say, Snooki. Just drawing from his general attitude towards women and women’s issues in the past 15 years, I’m pretty sure the only reason Limbaugh’s not up for a slander lawsuit is because, based on persistent behavior and comments, he truly thinks all women are sluts/whores/some definition of evil that confers the blame to them for the actions of men like himself. If he really believes it, it’s not slander – and if he does prefer women, I’d suggest all women cut him off for their own safety based on that mindset alone.

Do I believe that the United States needs public healthcare? Yes. I didn’t used to, but letting corporations run amok has essentially endangered us all. One consequence of allowing corporate personhood is that government HAS to do something to protect ACTUAL personhood, and by that I mean people with two legs, walking around.

You can scream about unborn babies all you want, but the ones that scream the loudest are, by and far, NOT the ones there when the kid is born – and is, say, a lovely shade of brown or tan. (And I’ve heard the anecdotes about good conservatives that foster. Then I hear the horror stories from the social workers and kids that escape.) While I personally only use non-hormonal birth control – YES, A MARRIED WOMAN USES CONDOMS! – I think women should get that boost. First, women use birth control for far more than just recreational purposes; it’s not just for sleeping around. In some cases it actually keeps us alive, to be mothers to the kids we already have – and many of those kids were had according to the outdated rules of legitimacy. Second, if we quit smearing mud on sex and making life hell for women who select men as sexual partners, we’d all get more out of the health benefits of sex, for those of us with a sexuality-based orientation.

Besides, George W. Bush’s ploy of telling women we should all behave as though “pre-pregnant” a)was creepy and suggests he also thinks of women as slaves and b)was pretty obviously a ploy to drive the US population up so we won’t have to reinstate the draft later.

As for Limbaugh, I can’t find any recent documentation of his sex addiction. But if he’s been caught buying Viagra, he’s depending on somebody to be slutty enough to sleep with him – and he has got to be a bit of a slut himself. I implore you, if you have an opportunity to sleep with Rush Limbaugh, JUST SAY NO! Then scream, draw the attention of passerby, and run away.

So, to recap my fine points:

  1. The government has done nothing here, with the Fluke and Limbaugh thing. This was all private corporations – or citizens, if you must look at it through our current government filter where “corporations are people.” Obama calling Ms. Fluke was a government gesture, sure, but he didn’t call down the FCC on Limbaugh because Limbaugh still has freedom of speech. He just doesn’t have freedom of non-government supplied paycheck.
  2. Republicans are having some sort of mass dementia, apparently. Low government involvement should never involve any kind of pelvic exam. Also, dear men of all Republican committees: picture it happening to your butt. Be as visceral in your imaginings as possible. Decide from there. Ultimately, they ceased being Republican and became the scary-ass Christian misappropriated jihad party somewhere along the line. Some of their own members have reason to be freaking terrified.
  3. Birth control does not just cover recreational activities, and women do have a lot more to do then just incubate babies. Without women as the underpaid workforce, and the unpaid workforce behind most US voluntarism (WWII would have been a screwed effort on ALL counts) then where would those self-important frat boys sitting smugly in Congress be?