The Prosperous Heart: in regards to money, I regret

  1. not becoming a travel agent right out of high school. That would have earned me money for college and given me what I really wanted out of life right then.
  2. not using my college money to just buy a damn car. I clung to every scrap I could get for tuition. Working while in school would have made life easier. My parents “your first job is school,” was not applied to my sister, who also lived at home while she pretended to attend college – and she worked all the way through. They really had meant to keep me from moving on with my life/keep me in their crab bucket. I should have just bought a car and gotten a job in Sheboygan.
  3. helping S.A. out with his tuition. I never, ever should have done that – he sure as hell never gave me back the value, or thanked me, or apologized for treating me like dirt. Racist little shit.
  4. I do NOT regret – but it was a huge financial mistake — my first apartment in Minneapolis. It was my first experience ever in giving myself something I truly wanted. I learned to stop hoping the other people in my life would ever give me something I wanted – they were too self-involved to actually listen to me the way I listened to them.
  5. every panhandler I’ve ever let con me. Now I just call the cops on all of them. This is partly because if I don’t, around Minneapolis, it has gotten to the point where no honest citizen could walk from point A to point B without someone walking up and demanding money. It’s worse than being swarmed by gnats.
  6. not insisting that my ex and I have a real conversation about how we handled our money. If he was mad, he refused to talk about it – it’s passed off as “Minnesotan” but it’s really an abusive behavior tactic that denies both parties accountability.
  7. not trying to stick with my job at Wal-Mart for at least a full year. It was hell on earth, and there was all kinds of mean girl bullshit going on – but at least I would have been included in the class action lawsuit later.
  8. buying that stupid scholarship book. My mother had promised (lied) that she’d research scholarships while I was in school because they really are easier to get after your freshman year. That didn’t happen; instead she threw all her energy into her social climbing DAR bullshit, even quitting the part time job she’d taken to support my sister while she languished on the wait list for her Mrs. The book, alas, was almost exclusively for first year students and helped me not at all.
  9. going to the college that I did choose the first two years. It was expensive, it openly favored athletes, and it was insanely isolated. Let me rephrase: I regret listening to my mother, and every time I took her opinions into account, it left me financially hobbled and vulnerable to attack.
  10. every gift I’ve ever purchased for my family members. Rather than appreciating a thoughtful gift, they act like it’s something I owe them, and they do creepy things like congratulate me on “my taste” when what I get them has nothing to do with my personal tastes and preferences. Also, who the hell is so self-absorbed and stupid to think that there is such a thing as objective good taste? I’m starting to wonder if the dust in the 1950s white gloves contains tiny brain slugs.

 

Filed under: Prosperous Heart