I’ve had this book on Wicca and divorce hanging over me for a few years now. I have two outlines, and somehow magically recovered material that really had been deleted several months back – at that time it seemed it was irrecoverable. But when I went on a file cleaning mission on my server, lo and behold, there it was last week, just waiting for me.
I’ve veered away from working on the book for several reasons, the biggest one being my qualifications: technically, I have none. This is all about magic to help ease the transition, because all that other stuff can’t even be handled properly by the qualified professionals.
I’m not a psychologist. I’m not a marriage counselor. I’m a priestess, but I’ve never led a coven and while I’m certain that will happen in the future if the circumstances are right, right now it’s just not going to happen.
I am a woman who has been divorced, who is also Wiccan. I got to discover firsthand that while I would say almost the majority of magical types in my area have experienced at least one divorce, for those going through divorce there was almost no support, and for the younger divorce’ there is significant and nasty stigma.
I’m not discovering a new world here. Other women have written guides on divorce survival. And, given the people out there who are determined to run around declaring who is and isn’t Wiccan apparently as their faith practice ((it sure doesn’t seem like they’re doing anything else)), I’m concerned this book, even if it does get published, will end up being just pissing in the wind because someone will get so hung up on the “legitimacy” of it that any information offered just won’t get used.
It’s an uncomfortable but real subject, and most of what’s out there starts off with “so, you failed.” Which is such judgmental, self-serving bullshit. It’s also really not fun to write, and as a newlywed, a bit awkward – although at least this relationship with my husband has already existed a very long time.
As I restart and rethink my approach once again, I’m asking a bizarre and improbable question: how can I make writing about dealing with divorce at a magical level fun?