Right now on the Divorcing a Real Witch book I’m feeling sort of…stuck. I’ve got the survey up and going, but I’m not getting a lot of response from the bloggers I’ve asked to help me out so far – and really, that’s up to them. I disappeared from the community just as I was achieving trajectory, so the “who the hell are you” reaction is understandable. Also, there needs to be research into neopagans the technological divide. Our keep-to-the-fringe tendencies makes us a community of very early or determinedly late adopters. I’d be utterly unsurprised if some Wiccans were sitting in a cave arguing about using cigarette lighters for fire right now.
This isn’t writer’s block. This is the old-fashioned inertia that creeps up on me when I’m doing something important, something that might change things, something that scares the living hell out of me. It’s also why I feel depressed, disengaged and ever so slightly self destructive. Like it or not, I am an artist, and I am intense. Right now the like it is on “not” because I want to just crank up the back of my brain like it’s an old fashioned car and set it to working and writing, but I can’t quite find the handle.
There’s this section of my consciousness that’s just puckered. Anxiety is sealing it closed. I’m thinking of the people who don’t want me to write, who are convinced that they have the authority to say I don’t have the authority, who will threaten all sorts of bullshit because of some imagined story that has nothing to do with what’s genuinely going on with me. People who resent me for making money. People who just want control over me still. Worse is that I might get harassed by people who pay way too much attention to me, while the people I want to reach might ignore me altogether. How much would that suck?
So today is a day of One Small Thing.
I’m doing this blog post. I revised my Llewellyn article. I also did some revision on the overview for my book proposal. That’s something. I’m also a little hungry – and in Write Yourself Right Cameron does say something about HALT (don’t get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired – which are my four primary emotions.)I pre-made salads this week to make sure I ate healthy at lunch; I can grab one of those. After that, I can write a thank you not to the sponsors of our Doctor Who meetup.
I need to come up with an article appropriate for the Witch’s Voice – it’s a lot harder to do now that they have no regular guidelines. I’m drawing a massive blank, too. I’m also not blogged ahead on Fat Chic, which I find distressing and unusual – but typical in July.